How humans misunderstand situations.

Why arepeople alwaysdoingthings?

You don't understand why someone keeps doing something.

Bringing it up feels awkward. Ignoring it leaves you wondering.

Send them a micro-questionnaire instead — hear their side, share yours.

Browse situations
Bike listing · buyeronline
Hi! Is the bike still available?09:38
Yes 🙂 want to see it today?09:40 ✓✓

Seen 09:41

3 days later

Maybe I've got this completely wrong — or maybe I'm the one who should do something differently. Not having a go at you. Would you fill this in? No name, fully anonymous.11:02 ✓✓
Why do people ask “is this still available?” and then vanish?whydoing.com/s/x2vnbz911:02 ✓✓
haha ok, done 😄 found a cheaper one and felt weird saying it11:19
Huh. Never would have guessed that.11:21 ✓✓

Top 10 situations

The ones people are answering most right now.

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Where the two sides land

Each line runs from how deliberate the people doing it say it was, to how deliberate the people it happens to assume it was. The longer the line, the bigger the Human Gap.

People who do itPeople it happens to

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How to reshape the conversation

Three steps that turn an accusation waiting to happen into a question both sides can answer.

1

Send the questions, not the theory

Every situation has a short link and a ready-made message to send with it — one that asks instead of accuses. Copy it, send it.

2

They answer anonymously

Thirty seconds, no account, no name attached. Nothing to defend, which is exactly why people answer honestly.

3

You both see why

The moment they answer, you both see what the reason actually was — and how it compares to everyone else in the same situation.

What it changes

You understand them

The real reason is usually one you never considered. That alone changes how the next message reads.

Both of you can do better

Being asked without blame makes people rethink a habit — including you, once you see your own side in the numbers.

The pattern becomes visible

Every answer joins the data for that situation, so the next person who wonders about it already sees why.

The point isn't to be right. It's that both sides understand each other a little better — and both get to see what everyone else in the same situation said.